**“[Erma Bombeck] is marvelously funny, direct as a hypodermic, a virtuoso in the field of suburban living.”— *Vogue*** It’s the exposé to end all exposés—the truth about the suburbs: where they planted trees and crabgrass came up, where they planted the schools and taxes came up, where they died of old age trying to merge onto the freeway and where they finally got sex out of the schools and back into the gutters.