The *New York Times* bestselling author of *I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell* and *Assholes Finish First* delivers a new collection of thirty 100% true, 100% exclusive stories of comically perverse excess. Another installment in Tucker Max’s series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, *I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell* and *Assholes Finish First* , ends here. But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang – literally and figuratively. In this book, you’ll learn: * How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School * Why Halloween is really awesome * How to subtly torture a high-strung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment * What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth * Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van As we’ve come to learn from Tucker, assholes do finish first…but everything comes with a price. The Cancun stories Drugs are bad, mmmkay? Why Halloween is awesome Fat girls cross Tucker, hilarity ensues The deadliest vacation Sexting with Tucker Max: mean The fight stories Meet my friend Hate Tucker runs a wine tasting The ex-girlfriend threesome fallout In the truck The (almost banned, now complete) Miss Vermont story Tucker Max, knee abuser Sexting with Tucker Max: A/S/location, locations, location The law school weddings and bachelor parties Epilogue: The retirement