Anguished English is the impossibly funny anthology of accidental assaults upon our common language. From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed-Up Metaphors . . . from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers . . . it’s a collection that will leave you roaring with delight and laughter. Help Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. Two-Headed Grandmother of eight makes hole in one! Doctor testifies in horse suit. Modern-Day I suffer from a deviant septum.