**The author of *Notorious Royal Marriages* presents some of history’s boldest, baddest, and bawdiest royals. ** The bad seeds on the family trees of the most powerful royal houses of Europe often became the most rotten of apples: über-violent autocrats Vlad the Impaler and Ivan the Terrible literally reigned in blood. Lettice Knollys strove to mimic the appearance of her cousin Elizabeth I and even stole her man. And Pauline Bonaparte scandalized her brother Napoleon by having a golden goblet fashioned in the shape of her breast. Chock-full of shocking scenes, titillating tales, and wildly wicked nobles, *Royal Pains* is a rollicking compendium of the most infamous, capricious, and insatiable bluebloods of Europe.