Cruel Water

Cruel WaterI’m not a sadist by choice, I’m a sadist by design, Cursed to inflict pain on othersAnd yet I find no pleasure in it, Only a moment of release from my eternal torment.
And yet, it’s not enoughI’m not a sadist, I’m a monster.
One night changed all that, One night she dragged me from the oceans dark depthsCresting the cruel waters she came to my rescue, like an angel.
A mermaid.
And now I’m going crazy and don’t know what to believe.
Was she real? Did she truly soothe my demons and take away my pain?How am I even alive?So many questions taunt me.
So many answer evade my grasp.
What is true? What is real? What to believe?All I know for sure is I have to find her again, I have to know, Can she really save me from mysel